Under Mirkwood

At the passage of the Elves:

It is Spring, moonless night in the Wood.
Hush! Hear the starsong echo on owl wing.
Hear it in lightdark glen, in pearlmother'd stream,
Hear it in sharpfoot doe passage and cobweb dust.
Look in vain for Starsong's lost children,
Star eyed, star old, less than shadows.

By jeff marr, inspired by the work of Dylan Thomas

Greetings From The Marrs!

Here's a little update on the family:
 

The year sped by, but we were able to be all together much more than we thought possible. The family all came to San Jose for Axel’s blessing in February, for Tracy’s pacemaker replacement in May, for the family reunion in July, and for Christmas (below).

Tracy and Jeff traveled (separately) to Spokane to visit Dallin, Alicia, and Everett, and to New York to visit Shannon, Jeff, and Axel.

Brennen has been doing well. He has home nursing for 16 hours a day, which has improved his health and allowed Jeff and Tracy to travel one at a time. Brennen continues to review films; see his reviews on the tastywaffle channel on youtube. He loves being an Uncle and looks forward to teaching the 7 year old class at Church this year.

Shannon loves being a stay-at-home mom. Her husband Jeff is a storyboard artist for Blue Sky. Look for his name (Jeff Call) in the credits for Rio 2 when it comes out in 2014. It was wonderful to see Axel’s name as one of the production babies in the credits for Epic. Axel loves to play “catch” and is active, active, active.

Dallin started grad school at Eastern Washington University in the School Psychologist program. He is also the TA for freshman psych and loves to teach the class on Fridays. Since much of the extended Marr family is in Spokane, Alicia is being exposed to that unique “Marr Experience”. Everett examines everything to figure out how it works, and likes to try to use a screwdriver. Jeff is hopeful of a future engineer.

Aerin turned 13 and is in 8^th grade. She continues to play the clarinet in the band, and is starting to learn the flute. She also got a ukulele for Christmas. She’s into post-punk music, anime, and manga. She delights in reminding Tracy and Jeff how soon she will be wearing makeup and driving.

Here’s Jeff and Tracy shamelessly doting on their grandsons:

Happy New Year From The Whole Family!

No Pressure

My first two grandchildren are due in December. My son Dallin's Wife Alicia and my daughter Shannon are both expecting boys. I am excited, both to be a grandpa and for my kids.

Since my kids are smarter than me, I expect them to do a better job as parents. No pressure. However, since I didn't make a total mess of it, here are a few core principles I think worked well:

1. It begins with Mom and Dad. Have strong communication, cooperation, and consistency between you two.
2. It begins with Mom and Dad. Model how to constructively handle conflict, or they won't know how to "fight fair".
3. It begins with Mom and Dad. Each of you should play, read, work, and do the routines with your children. Sometimes together. Sometimes separately.
4. It begins with Mom and Dad. Be united in faith and practice.

 Like I said: No pressure.

Kindle Fire Review

"My" Fire arrived on Thursday (like when my kids bought "me" a Wii). It's been a hot commodity around the house for the last four days. Here's my early impressions:

• As an e-reader:
• It's the size of a trade paperback and as heavy as a hardbound book (needs two hands or one hand and a prop)
• The screen is very clear and lighted (good for reading at night)
• The screen is large enough to hold a decent amount of text. Definitely better than trying to read on a phone-sized device
• As a web device (It has a web browser - Silk)
• Not as fast as on a laptop, but usually OK for Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Email, Hulu, Crunchyroll, Netflix, etc.
• I hope Amazon can make web browsing on the Fire faster, though
• The screen is a little small for non-mobile web pages (many web sites detect you are on a mobile device and optimize the web page). The non-mobile web pages work, but they may be really small, and you will need to zoom in
• As a music and movie player
• Amazon supplies 5GB free, in the Cloud, to store your media, knowing that most of us need more than that (cynical me)
• There's only room on the device itself for a few hundred songs (with no expansion capability), so this is definitely meant to be a Cloud device
• It's a very nice size for one or two people to watch a movie or show. You can both read the subtitles without getting too chummy (unless you want to)
• It has built-in speakers and a headphone jack
• As a "casual" game device
• It plays "phone" games (like Angry Birds) - great screen size for that
• Crosswords, Sudoku,  and Solitaire all look good on it
• It's a "charge once a day" device for moderate use (4 to 6 hours a day)
• The wireless is generally very good
• My only complaint is that the Fire is finicky when the wireless signal strength is low. In low-signal situations where my laptop stays connected, the Fire will drop and reconnect sometimes
• It would be awesome to be able to use it as a video phone (just the right screen), but no webcam or microphone. I knew that before I bought it, but ...

Overall: I am very happy with it. I give it a B+.

Income Inequality

Mostly I micro-blog now (Facebook, Google+, and Twitter), but sometimes I need to write something a bit longer.

Lately, income inequality has been a Big Deal, being one of the (many) drivers behind the Occupy movement. It's amazingly polarizing and politicized, and the debate is extremely lacking in relevant information.

The data is conclusive that not only has the gap between rich and poor been widening in the US (let's call that income inequality), but the poor and much of the middle class are less well off (let's call that income erosion). Given the lack of useful information in the news, I did a little digging.

First, here is the big picture:

• Income inequality and erosion began to grow in the US starting in the 1970s and has steadily increased
• The growth in income inequality and erosion has been independent of cyclic upturns and downturns in the economy
• The growth in income inequality and erosion has been independent of which party is in power
• The growth in income erosion extends through much of the middle class (to the 77th percentile of income), though it hits the poor the hardest (In 2003, the 77th percentile household income was around $83,000 a year)
• The upper 23rd income percentile is made up mostly of highly skilled white-collar workers
• The growth in income inequality and erosion is an international phenomenon, impacting 17 of 21 OECD nations, including the US, UK, and Japan.

Some obvious conclusions can be drawn:

• No one political party or administration can be responsible for a 40 year trend
• This isn't a single nation issue, so things like changes to US tax laws likely aren't a major factor
• The unemployment rate has little or nothing to do with the trend
• This isn't just about the 1%

Most of the current rhetoric, however, ignores the big picture.

The why is less sure. The commonly cited factors are:

• Globalization:
• Off-shoring of blue-collar jobs (not just from the US, but from developed countries in general)
• Replacing lost blue-collar jobs with lower paying service sector jobs
• Rising Barriers To Economic Mobility:
• The level of education and training needed to be a "highly skilled" worker is increasing
• Education is getting more expensive

Since globalization isn't likely to go away, it comes down to education, education, education. 

Next time: Why we shouldn't focus our educational system on just producing high test scores. Duh.

The Routine: Mornings

Here's the morning routine to get Brennen up:

[Normally starts at 9am Mon - Sat and at 7:45am on Sunday]
Turn off night ventilator
Remove mask, and face and ear bandages
Remove blankets, pillows, etc.
Clean face and hands
2 Gas-X tablets
Drink of water
Toileting in bed if needed(urinal)
Physical therapy (legs, hips, hands, arms, shoulders)
External Cath.
Pants
Side stretches and wash back
Attach body brace
Use Hoyer lift to put in wheelchair
While in lift, unplug charger(s), plug in day vent battery to ventilator and turn on day ventilator
Adjust brace and seating
Put shirt on
Bandage toes, insert toe spacers, and put on compression socks
Put on AFOs and shoes
Breakfast
Morning meds
Toileting (Use Guldman lift in bathroom)
Put back in wheelchair
Attach leg bag to external cath. (change leg bag every 1st and 15th of the month)
Pull up pants (2 person job - if only one person available do this step on the bed)
Adjust feet in AFOs and tighten velcro straps on shoes
Adjust body brace, seat position, and ventilator sip tube
Nasal Rinse/Nasal Spray
Brush teeth
Wash face
Wet and comb hair (if no shower the night before, use No-Rinse shampoo)
Final seating and vent sip tube adjustments
Attach wheelchair tray
[Morning routine takes 2 hours]

Next will be the adjustments to routines when there are respiratory issues.

The Routine

One thing I have to do for a nurse to come in and help take care of Brennen is document the routine. Here's the evening routine:

[Starts around 8:30pm]
Snack (200-500 calories if possible for weight maintenance)
Medicines
Brush Teeth
Remove body brace (clean brace with rubbing alcohol)
Resporatory Treatments: Vest and Nebulizer
Remove foot splints, support socks, and compression bandages
Undressing/Toileting
Shower
Back in chair
Nasal Rinse
Nasal Spray
Put in bed
Dress for bed
Physical Therapy
Bandage face (prep for nasal mask)
Put on Nasal mask/chin strap
Position for sleep (1 pillow, 1 blanket, 1 rolled up towel for legs, one pillow under back, cervical pillow under head
Turn on night ventilator and adjust to stop leaks
Adjust ceiling fan and blankets for comfort
Lights out!
[Between 10:30 and 11:00]

Next time: the morning routine.

Week of Aerin

To honor Aerin's 11th b-day, our digital picture frame is featuring Aerin for the whole week. Over 300 pictures of and by our girl. She wasn't properly thrilled.

More Birthday Highlights:

For her party on Friday, Aerin took 6 friends to see Rango, then to California Pizza Kitchen, and then to Sweet Factory. On Saturday, her actual b-day, Aerin opened her family gifts, then went shopping with Mom to spend some of her $. Tonight, I helped her spend some of her Amazon gift card money (mostly for manga, but also, oddly, some scratch-n-sniff pizza stickers).

Aerin said yesterday, "Dad, I'm almost 12!"

Grief

Grieving is an innate coping process. Attempting to suppress, ignore, or circumvent it exacts a high price. We grieve not just for death, but any major loss, including loss of possibilities. It is common for the parents to grieve when their expectation of their child's possibilities gets radically altered.

When my oldest son was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy in 1988, I went through a year long grieving period with a lot of time spent in denial (hoping somehow that the diagnosis was wrong). Also, I couldn't talk about it with anyone but my wife. It was just too raw and tender. When acceptance came, it came rapidly, though, and it was such a relief to be able to talk about it with others. It helped me cope, and so many cared and wanted to be there for us.

Progressive and long term conditions offer multiple grieving points. For Duchenne, in addition to diagnosis, grief can be triggered at the loss of the ability to walk, loss of the ability to eat independently, the need for respiratory support, and other major transitions. This applies not only for the family, but for the sufferer.

Yesterday, a family friend died. Simultaneously, I felt grief for our friend's death, but also anticipatory grief for my son. We don't know how long my son will live, so the anticipation was for an event hopefully far off, but nevertheless it was real.

I thought of my Saviour, a "Man acquainted with grief", and I knew that grief, like so many things, is not just inevitable, but necessary. It comes because we love and care for others. It is part of healing.

50 Musings

Turning 50 confused me. Was I supposed to feel different? All I felt was unreality. How could I be 50? How could my oldest child be 25? How could I have been married for more than half my life?

Some more observations on unreality:

• Maybe amnesia has set in, but life seemed simpler when the kids were small. An idyllic haze surrounds memories of poor, married college life.
• I knew everything when I was younger. Now I know a few things.
• Watching my adult children make their own choices and live their own lives is terribly rewarding, but I feel like a spectator.
• I have developed a "healthy" paranoia about staying relevant and vital in the workplace.
• How come I still sometimes act like a child in my marriage? Shouldn't I have figured this out by now?

Well, I guess I'm not done yet.

Tribute To An Old Workhorse

I am always a generation or three behind getting the latest gadgets. My friends have their Kindles and Nooks and iPads, and I have ........ [drum roll please] .......

My Dell Axim X5. A Pocket PC. From 2003.

Yes, it has a blazing fast 300MHz processor and all of 32MB of RAM. But with SD and CF slots, it can hold whole libraries. It's also an MP3 player, a voice recorder, and a whole lot more. Heck, you can even edit Word docs and Excel spreadsheets (If you're crazy enough to do that on the 240 X 320 screen). But the best part is that the battery will (still!) last all day. No, it doesn't have WiFi, though you can add that, and even browse the web.

Doomed by being ahead of its time.

It's been my faithful eBook reader for 7 years, and I pay it tribute! Now, when will it die so I can get one of those cool new gadgets?

Cylinder O' Smell

One of the unwritten rules of life is the Cylinder O' Smell. It works like this:

Each human being is encased by an invisible 3 ft. (1 m) cylinder. Any smell, good or bad, emanating from a person should not be detectable outside their Cylinder. Very simple.

There is a good reason for this rule. Inside the cylinder is personal space (yes, the size of the cylinder varies by culture). Outside is public space. You invite people into your personal space, smells and all. Assaulting the public space with your odors is an uninvited invasion.

Note: The Cylinder O' Smell is about odor and not about environmental allergies, which are a different discussion.

Interestingly, this rule applies equally to perfumes and gym socks. Some examples:

• You enter the lobby of a building and are nearly overwhelmed by the receptionist's scent enhancement (a mix of perfume, hair spray, body spray, and makeup) from 30 feet away. Bad
• Someone uses spray underarm deodorant in the locker room. Bad
• Mr. Evil (but, to my experience, never Miss Evil) wears their unwashed non-scent suppressing gym clothes. Very bad
• You wear subtle perfume/cologne and someone has to get real close to check it out. Sounds good to me.
• You nuzzle your S.O.'s clean hair. It smells wonderful. Very good.

You get the idea. The exception to the Rule is when everybody smells that way (hunting trips, marathons, makeover parties, etc.)

Next week: The Cylinder O' Sound, or headphones and earbuds.

Last Line From CNN Article on Facebook Outage

Why is it that the last line of news articles are often the best?

From a CNN article:

"OPB BREAKING NEWS: Facebook is down," read a message on Oregon Public Broadcasting's feed. "Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession."

Back to Weight Watchers

I have been attending Weight Watchers again for about a month, after a year and a half hiatus. Even though I exercise regularly, my weight had crept back up. So far, my weight loss has been modest, but I am so happy that my head is back into it.

This works on so many levels

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Es gibt einen Idioten

Train drags half-naked mooner along tracks

My Dirty Little Secret

To avoid full mental meltdown while shopping, I play a game called "Fashion Disaster". Here are the rules:

• All people I see are divided into three categories: Exempt, Good Fashion, Fashion Disaster
  
  
• Exempt: Look like they are not trying to "make a statement". In its simplest form this consists of jeans, t-shirt, and healthy skin and hair and the appearance of spending no more than 5 minutes getting ready to go out. This is the highest, best, most exalted category. How long it actually took to achieve this look is anyone's guess.
  
  
• Good Fashion: Looks like they spent some time on their looks, but it works. Their hair style works with their facial shape. Their hair color is natural, if not original. Their clothing and shoes work with their body shape. They aren't a walking cliche.
  
  
• Fashion Disaster: Everyone else. Though the possibilities are effectively infinite, examples may be educational:
  
  The only look more pitiful than this year's cliche is last year's: Exposed bra straps. Distressed jeans. The homie look. Etc.
  
  Really tight low-waisted jeans worn with flat shoes make the wearer's legs look about 16 inches long.
  
  Wide hips and skinny legs are not well served by tight pants and stiletto heels. "Does this make my butt look big?" Yes.
  
  Muffin tops = bad.
  
  Thongs should not be worn under sweat pants. Ever.

Sorry to expose my dark side.

Public Service Announcement

Drivers beware: It's deer-mating season

Call Me Clyde

Runners of Unusual Size (ROUS's) are called Clydesdales or Athenas, depending on gender.

Here's the world according to Clyde:

• Shoe companies assume all large runners hulk around on flat feet and need beefy motion control shoes. I have high arches and so require a neutral cushioning shoe. I have only found one neutral cushioning shoe (the NB 1062, discontinued of course) that has heel cushioning that can take the tonnage. If you are a high arched Clyde, please share what works for you.
• Most Clydesdales are mesomorphs. Big shoulders tapering to narrow(er) hips. Then there's me. Years ago I earned the family nickname "The Cylinder of Flesh". One size from shoulders to waist to hips. It was true when I weighed 300 pounds, and equally true when I weighed 200 pounds. I lift weights, but my shoulders, though stronger, remain narrow, sloping, and bony. However, to misquote a running cliche: "You don't run on your shoulders."
• Most entry fees include a shirt commemorating the race. Apparently XL for race shirts means anything from Medium to Large, but not including Extra Large. Always order a size up!
• Someone who shall remain nameless packed the clothes for my very first race back in 2007, accidentally including a child's XL shirt. Form fitting clothes on a big guy look even better drenched in sweat. Always pack your own gear!

Sorry if I spoiled your appetites with that last mental image,

Clyde, aka JeffTheTwoThirds, aka Me

PeeveDay

It's Jeff's personal PeeveDay, so here's my top 6 running raceday peeves:

6. Getting lost on the way to the race (ok, usually my fault)

5. Races starting late

4. Traffic jams during the race

3. Getting lost during the race (not my fault!)

2. Not enough bathrooms

1. Walkers who start in front of runners

Actually, only the last two are very common. Maybe if I were more patient.